I know I'm not supposed to write anything for now but then I have nothing to do now, really. Right now I've studied pretty much enough for the exams and if I take them now I should do about OK. But I want to do better than OK, so I'll revise more, but that's later. Anyway I didn't want my last post to be about certain people. I mean, it the 'bad' things about them.

Yeah now so nearing the end of the exams, which means that the school year is almost over, did you realise that? So yeah I learnt two things. 1)A lot can happen in one year 2)Very Very little can happen in one year.

I'm going overseas for holidays, for more than half a month. Not really looking forward to it.

I guess I don't show it when I am in a bad mood, because I learned long long time ago that if you show your bad mood, no matter if its angry or sad, no one will help you because of that, you may even worsen the situation. Reminded from AWIT, which andy's pm reminded me of, blah blah blah.

I saw some erm... what wassit... ah yes "xiao didi"s on the bus, from nan hua, strange I definitely wasn't like that in primary school, or maybe I forgot.

Went to school today, because there was the math thingy, but I didn't go there because I needed help, I went because 1)Mr Tan doesn't want me to and 2)I might help someone.

I don't want to get to next year and think what I should have done with this one.

Back to work now.

How could I forget about today. Mentoring was finnaly mentoring. Or it wasn't.

There are two particularly irritating persons in class who seem to hate each other. Both of them have got their own problems. Both of them do not know the concept of "personal attack". Today in class one of them was sitting looking very pissed (and, coincidentally, not helping at all), while the other at least helped somewhat.

Then there is the teacher, who seems to be angry that we are not paying attention to her telling us we are not paying attention.

Like duh.

Ok! Something on censorship VS summary.

This is summary.

So I borrowed the car without permission, but Dad didn't have to hit the roof! I was only going to borrow for an hour or two but he acted as if I was never going to return it. I couldn't help it; Daddy persuaded me to stay a little longer to watch a movie at his house. But Dad wouldn't listen to my explanation. If you had seen him that night, he looked like a fire-breathing dragon, with smoke coming out of his ears. He was like a steaming volcano, about to explode. I knew I was in deep trouble when I saw that the lights were still on at 1 am. Usually, everyone would be sound asleep by then, which was why I had decided to come back at that hour. Alright, I'll admit it. wasn't because I was being considerate, but I was hoping to slip in with as little fanfare as possible. Of course, the minute I stepped in the door, all hell broke loose! Dad exploded in rage, and accused me of being irresponsible. I wasn't going to stand there in silence, passively submitting to his accusations. I mean, how could he accuse me of being irresponsible? I brought the car back without a scratch, didn't I? Who else could have borrowed the car, since only the two of us drive? He should have known it was me, when he saw the car keys gone and I wasn't at home. Besides, what was the point of asking when I knew he would probably say "No". Then he turned white with fury, and could barely speak-he was so angry that he almost had to choke out his words.

I borrowed the car to hit the roof for an hour or two. I couldn't help it; Dad wouldn't listen to my fire-breathing dragon, about to explode. I knew the lights were sound asleep, which was why I was being considerate. I was hoping to slip the minute I stepped in hell. Dad exploded the car. Who else could have borrowed the two of us? He should have known at home. Besides, what was the point of asking when could barely speak words?

I'll post censorship later.

Never write anything for... oh, 5 days straight. Reasons?

If you think it's because of exams, like real. I'm not even trying hard for them lah... fail so fail lah. But it's better to pass, and pass well. So, yes, I'll work for it, but it probably won't matter. But I need a good grades to get psl next time. Hopefully.

Actual reason? I feel tired. Can't keep awake. Oh. And can't sleep either, that's the worst.

Well another thingy is Mr Tan banned me from the library. For no good reason, for a very long time, and when I tried to speak to him he ignored me. Stoopid. Thus I emailed him. If he doesn't respond or if he says I commited defiance good luck to me. I can't say anything here, in case he uses it against me.

Erm, I went to search for my birthday on wikipedia.

• 1901 - In Bremen an assassin attempts to kill Wilhelm II of Germany. (Starting WWI)
• 1475 - Michelangelo Buonarroti, Italian painter (Born)
• 1490 - Ivan the Young, Ruler of Tver (Died)

Well it seems I didn't inherit any of their... talent? I can't remember much about michelangelo anyway.

I can't seem to remember anything else that happened.

Ah yes hansiang said something about installing mac on a pc. I asked with VMWare? Yes.

Erm. If you use VMWare what's the point... I think now that apple switched to Intel processor mac can directly run on PC but you need to modify it a bit. Found out a place where you can find the modified version but first it is illegal and second I do not have that much disk space.

Speaking of illegal limewire has stopped working right after I started it yesterday, so today nothing. Wtf I'm scared.

I have no idea what the arts fest is about now, after last time, when they met in the library and I was in the art room.

Top 10 Excuses For Not Doing the Math Homework

1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to provethat it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one ori is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

Hmm LotR soundtrack quite nice.

Rather nice day. Rahul calls it "the best day since I've been in NUS" but I think that's because of other reasons, one which involves...

Don't mention names.

Good day, but I felt crap throught. Hmmm. Very crap. Various reasons. All very, very bad. But it's useless to dwell on it.

I'm appearing offline now

Some people are fine with just
living and being happy.
Some people try to do
something.
All search.
Some recognise that
and wonder what they search for
some of these give up
some become philosiphers
I know that I've tried
I've never done much.
Can't help it.
For now it is just me alone.
What you call fate, destiny, heaven's will,
I see none of it here.
All I see is me
Trying
I do not know if it is possible
But
I know it is not possible
I do not believe that I will suceed.
I used to.
That was a lie
I realised today
Some people believe that
To not believe in God
Is to live a life of no purpose.
Some say that you can
Live for yourself.
I simply know that
I have to be more than this.
Even if I am better
than most of the earth
I must be better
than all
If that happens
Will I rest happy?
I cannot know for sure
But this cannot be
my purpose in life
My purpose is thus
to find out what it is x)
Until I find it
I can only live
Half a life
It would be fun
It would be easy
I would be happy
I could rule the world
Build a few things
Sit back and take
What life brings.
Then
I would die.
And then?
All my efforts would be gone
Not there for me to see.
Everything I affect
Will be gone
Unless time stops
And I would still be dead.
This will be my post today
It is not a long one
It is a very important one
If I wished,
I could have written it normally instead.
You would understand it
But what would be the use
People will
forever be seperate
Never completely
know any other
understand any other
feel any other
No ones knows me all
Not even myself
This is not a poem
It is more
It is nothing
I don't know what it is

Why?

I guess maybe? I'm not used to it still. I'm better than others? Maybe, but it doesn't make me feel better. I judge by myself. I judge myself too. Very harshly, but that's me. Doesn't make me feel any better. But who would we be if we only lived to be happy? Not much.

You know this is one of the reasons I don't want to go to year 3, when class is split. With people leaving, I fear my memory will be wiped just like that. And then, all my past, destroyed? Can I bear it? Maybe...

The worst kind of suffering in the world is suffering on your own. Double-edged sword.

If I sound like I'm crazy, you're not reading closely. Or maybe I've hidden it too much. Hmm I don't know what I want. Or what I wanted. And now that I've thought,

I think it'll be over soon.

Haha yes... finally cleared most of my homework. Ms Chua even thought I didn't hand up me reading journal, expected me to hand it in on Monday. Reading journal done!!!

Whee!!

So right now I don't even care if I fail math. Or chinese. Anything.

Ok I am a bit too happy. See sucess is the mother of failure.

Erm. Right.

Actually I hate weekends. Dun really like home now. I wish I did, but no choice.

Plan to spend more time in school, as soon as I find somewhere where there's no one (library). That has a table (behind audi). With breathable air (staircase).

What can I do now...? I need to find something to do. My art still sucks no matter what.

Er thinking of art makes me remember phs, makes me remember AXIS, which... just ended. Something a bit sad though. Our fated was determined in less than 2 hours, hello we spent a whole year on that... deep-fryer? and you grade it in 2 hours.

I still think something to do will come to me. Like winnie-the-pooh said,

Oh nevermind I'm done with quoting him, but he did say something like that. Can't remember.

Singapore's PSI is up to 145 as of now. Interesting. 3 times above normal.

I want to put some lyrics somewhere here but I can't find a nice place to put it.

Hey you know channel 8 has this show about ghosts? It's nice, except the time. If I count all my time spent watching TV I'll get about 0.5 hrs per day. And that's on the news. Ahh well, so what, I have better things to do.

Then again, maybe not.

=)

Let me think about changing my links section. It's getting a bit lame now.

Can anyone enlighten me as to what I can do to take music next year? Really want to. Anyway a school which only lets me take limited nos. of humanities modules is really stupid.

I think Prof Lai is a bit too focused on the "Math and Science" part to realise that not all of us (me included) dun want to be scientists. Heck stop the assembly talks crap, or make them more interesting, or make me the principal.

And anyway put up more humanities modules!

My blog has been destroyed.

Lame.

First time in my life that I have nothing to do, AND actually enjoy it.

I dno... do prisoners enjoy their last day before hanging? I think hanging people is really stupid.

And pointless.

If there were a new CCA, I would make it fencing.

Yeah... Jumping over fences! Nice... I would own it? Or maybe not. Well if I suggested it I can become the president and then I'll own it, in a way.

PSI decreasing...

I still can't find me tie. Oh yeah I losted it.

there anything about empty speculation: There. There are an agent of whole and while brought up the

-Stupid piece of spam

Ahhhh. They don't know me at all. No one knows me at all. Just when my situation is critical they start something with me.

You have not suffered humiliation until you have had to ask your parents to let you do your homework. Yes. Let you do it. Not do it for you.

When I think that at yr 3 I'll be leaving this class I actually dunno how it feels like. I guess my mind is insisting that it isn't real. Ah well it sometimes happens.

I need to do something that I've never done before if I am to suceed. And if I don't I have to think about what I'll say at the end of next year.

I do not think I should spend my time thinking about exiting with a bang.

Of all times now I feel is the time when I should I act. Sheesh, maybe it's because tommorow I have a high chance of dying. And better still rigth now I can't do anything at all about it.

Great. I feel better already.

Argh I'm tired. Tiring day.

I just went bankrupt. All my money is gone. Gone.

My comp is toooo slow, and I really can't delete any programs. Like them too much. Shit.

I should be able to finish my history file by today, if nothing bad happens, then tommorow can rush my english and chinese.

Who am I kidding. I am soo screwed.

Right after all these good things happened. Right after I thought I was safe, disaster must befall me.

Somehow today I got inspired. Dunno why, now I'm thinking of a lot of new things, etc. But according to my experience most of it will be crap. Useless. Fade away from my mind.

Right now I am the Right and Honorouble shuan gee for some reason. I just found almost all my history notes and all my assignments, and I can clearly handle all my math homework. Just today my Gavel meeting was far better than expected.

Clearly, now, something bad has happened.

Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence


The return to innocence

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence


That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence

Seriously pissed today. I rarely let one even piss me off for the while day but this... ohhh this did it.

I didn't get PSL.

I DIDN'T GET PSL.

What the hell the teachers are biased or something. You should let the students choose PSL right? Then again...remembering what phs said, well, still I should get a chance.

Stupid, stupid, and yes, stupid.

All the homework finally catching up with me now. Screwed.

1.Chinese compo
2.Chinese project thingy (see I dun even noe wad it is)
3.English Reader's Digest worksheet.
4.All my math assignments from both modules (lost them...)
5.Physics, 2 worksheets
6.Gavel speech (?!?! Inspirational...)

Hai.

Nevermind. I will survive.

Somehow I feel nothing will harm me. Ok maybe a bit too drama... I fell that I can handle this.

Right.

"Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you."

Er... pls dun spam my tagboard? Look whatever you say pls take responsibility for it. So now I have decided that my tagboard will abide by these rules. Rules of lower numbers have a greater precedence.

0. All deletation is subject to my discretion and I reserve the right to change these rules at any time.

1. I own the copyright to your shouts.

2. All shouts which cannot fit into one tagboard-length (aka you make me scroll down twice) shall be deleted.

3. All repeated posts shall be deleted.

4. All obvious impersonations shall be deleted.

5. No posts by me shall be deleted, except if found to be impersonations.

6. I hold no responsibility for any accidental deletions.

7. The tagboard is public property. Use it at your own risk and discretion. I hold no responsiblity for my actions if you decide to impersonate me. Any physical, emotional or psychological harm caused by me shall not be my responsibility. It is your moral responsibility to use this tagboard in a manner which does not harm you.

8. Anything you say can and will be used against you as evidence in a court of law.

9. All posters below 5 years of age need to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.

10.Rules 7-10 may be safely ignored. Failure to comply with said rules may result in instant post deletions or banning of IP in severe cases. Repeated offences may lead to a criminal offence under vandalism. Feigned compliance but subsequent impersonations may be punishable under identity theft, copyright infigement, or breakage of contract law. Asylum in foreign countries may lead to declaration of war by the Government of the Republic of Singapore.

The above rules are held to be true by The Right and Honorouble Shuan Gee.

Dun worry that wasn't someone who hacked me... erm my password is very hard to guess.

Today all I did was work on my painting, not much else, unless you consider chinese class, in which I got 7/10 for presentation in which I had 30 mins to prepare. Quite good right? And there was phs telling me to just go up and talk crap, at least I'll get 2 marks. Hah. I got more experience with dealing with teachers (who hands up h/w late more?) than you ok. When you need more time for presentation and you let others go first teach will let you.

Then I found out rahul phs etc their pots are...

Well if you have that much time make better pots larh, not 8 pots that look like...

All I can do now is work on me painting.

Oh yeah I just found my stack of history notes, and almost all my math quizes. Now I just have to fill in the history, and redo all my math assignments. Simple eh?

Seriously. I consider this rather good.

"If there's a buzzing-noise, someone's making a buzzing-noise, and the only reason for making a buzzing-noise that I know of is because you're a bee. And the only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey... And the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it."

Winnie-the-Pooh

Erm.

Sorry for yesterday's post, I was crazy then. Did you know that Winnie-the-Pooh contains many examples of European philosophy?

Well er now I have to do my EL reading journal. Frankly this year's EL is completely wasted on Grammar (...) and Reading (completely siao, this one). I suspect next year will be comprehension. Hopefully we move on to writing pretty soon.

Er. About iTube (the one at the bottom)?

I haven't had much time to work on it yet. But I've found this site called Pandora, er, its my inspiration? If I have videos I'll put them up. I know that flash lags the site when scrolling - at least on IE 7, so I'll try to fix that.

Shit I'm damaging my laptop.

Well I guess I have wierd taste in music (but better than none right...)

"Pooh," said Rabbit kindly. "you haven't any brain."

"I know," said Pooh humbly.